Opinionated or Judgmental?

The Importance of Accepting Others

As someone who has the tendency of being self-righteous and at times quite judgmental, the people at the receiving end of my criticism have taught me the importance of just being. Trying to apply the principles one of my bosses has taught me, accepting the fact that even ‘annoying’ people have something to teach us and everyone is the way they are for a reason, I’m trying to focus on their positive side. I felt very humbled when he explained that just because people don't think the way I do doesn't makes them any less, and it doesn’t mean they are wrong either. So his question was, “what makes you think you have a right to judge another individual?” Well, once you put it that way I guess I really don’t have a right to pass judgment. And after all, was I too busy focusing on everyone else’s annoying factor, ignoring that maybe I too am quite annoying? Imagine that!

Let Them Be

My dad often says “There are people who don’t move ahead because they’re too busy watching what others are doing.” Even though I swore this saying applied to the office drama queen, I had fallen into that trap as well. I was too busy taking note of everyone’s mistakes, wasting time I could use to improve myself instead. By focusing on the negative I was starting to make work related decisions based on whether I liked the person or not. There’s one especially (the drama queen) I was starting a tug of war with. Needless to say I let go and decided to just let her be. It may sound ridiculous, but the moment I decided to stop, her ‘negative’ attitude subsided. We’re on much more cordial terms now. The difference between having an opinion and judging, as I was taught is that an opinion is formed based on my way of viewing life, how I was educated and have lived. Example, I could say the British flag is nicer than the Greek flag because it has red in it. When you judge, on the other hand, you are forming an opinion based on anger, fear, or insecurity and it’s usually always negative. I’m far from being as ‘enlightened’ as my boss, but I can now say I’m more aware of how I choose to react. We all have negative thoughts; the important thing is to not let them take over our lives.

We can’t change people but we certainly can change the way we view them.

Which brings me to…..

So many people we come across on a daily basis and we don’t quite know what struggles they may be dealing with in their personal lives. A little kindness on our part wouldn’t hurt; it may sound trite but a good attitude goes a long way. And this doesn’t just go for others, start with yourself. We’re often our harshest critic. Be careful about the kind of emotions you’re putting out there. That is, as I learned with the ‘drama queen’, what you will get in return.